Tuesday, May 13, 2014

St. Louis Rams' Michael Sam inspiring other public figures to open up about their sexuality

St. Louis, MO - Michael Sam is arguably the most important football player in the NFL right now. Sure Jadeveon "Doo Doo" Clowney  was the number one draft pick, and yes Johnny Manziel inspired a twitter trend the night of the draft (#BeforeManzielGetsDrafted), but none of that compares to the drafting of the NFL's first openly gay football player.
Michael Sam courtesy of NY Times

In case you missed it, Michael Sam was a stand out defensive player in the SEC while he attended The University of Missouri. He garnered accolades of all kinds for his skills on the field with Mizzou but his name shot into hyper drive when he opened up about his sexuality. And of course in a world where Beyonce's little sister beating Jay-Z while he laughs it off makes national "breaking" news, Michael Sam's sexuality seemed to be what everyone knew him for.

During the NFL Combine earlier this year he stated that he would like to be known as "Michael Sam the football player, and not Michael Sam the gay football player." Little did he know that his words and courage would spark a flame for other professional athletes and public figures from all over the world to open up about their sexuality.

On Mother's Day LPGA golfer Amanda Lovinhold took the chance to tell the world how she was born. "I feel that by being a member of the LPGA I am labeled constantly as a lesbian. The public thinks that the majority of female golfers are homosexual and therefore we are labeled and stereotyped that way," Lovinhold said. "I would like to take this opportunity to proudly say that I, Amanda Lovinhold, was born a straight woman and I love men!" At this point her closeted lover of 13 years Kenward Hunningtonn joined her at the podium and gave her a kiss and held her hand in support.

It is not an isolated incident either. More and more public figures are opening up about their sexuality.

Dan Deman is a high profile Broadway dancer in New York. He has been dancing since he was six years old and has been getting labeled and chastised for his passion since then. "I used to be called all kinds of names in school because I was a dancer. I usually let them roll off of my back," Deman told us. "But when someone saw me leaving a show one night next to a woman they yelled out, 'Yo is he straight?' and I knew I had to address it in public so there is no more speculation." He started by telling his production company and it grew from there. "I was born a straight man that loves to dance. I would love to be known simply as Dan the Dancer and not Dan the straight dancer."

The problem with this is it is actually news. The fact that Jay-Z makes breaking news when has 99 problems and the biggest one is probably that he went to tip a valet but had to give him a Benjamin since he doesn't even know what a $1 looks like or that his sister in law Solange hates him.

For the record, I would like to open up and proclaim that I am a straight man, although Justin Timberlake could probably turn me if he wanted to. Call me JT!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

New Phone Scam Frustrating the Nation

Washington DC - The FBI is probing a recent rise of a phone scam that targets anyone unfortunate enough to call in to automated systems. So far over 30 million Americans have called in to report the scam and it has left some heartbroken and unwilling to call in to automated customer service.

It happened to WDCA's own reporter Adam Summerlain last week.

"I called in to my bank just like normal and I went to press the button to check my account. Before I pressed it I heard the pre-recorded voice on the other end.," Summerlain said.

This, according to FBI investigators, is where the scam strikes.

"The recorded message told me to listen carefully as the menu options may have recently changed," Summerlain continued. "I thought it was no big deal because it is a big bank and I am sure things are upgrading and staying current."

But what he found was that nothing had changed at all and he could have input his option he knew to be correct from the very beginning.

In our own investigation we called over 64 companies to be greeted with similar messages only to find out that 99% of the menu options had not changed. The only one that did see a change was by a company that used to offer specialized burial services for pets but is now a fast food Chinese restaurant.

Special Agent Ricardo Juarez of the FBI informed us that this tactic is used by many companies in an effort to keep customers on the phone resulting in an aggressive attitude before actually speaking with a human.

"The reason they do that is so you are so angry after sitting and realizing nothing has changed, that they can effectively offer you poor customer service and you will just be happy that you are not waiting to hear if your menu option has changed," Juarez stated. "One way for you as the consumer to fight back is to push a random number and make the operator have to transfer you to the correct department."

The only way to stop this sickening behavior is to alert your family and friends before it is too late.

To contact us regarding this story. Please call 855-558-0000 Option 4. But please listen closely as our menu may have changed.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Tim Tebow brought to Jacksonville for Jaguars game against Denver

Tim Tebow arriving in Jacksonville
Duvall County FL- Florida just got one of their own back today. Former New England Patriot QB Time Tebow arrived in Jacksonville today at the wishes of the Jaguars coaching staff. With the 0-5 Jaguars struggling against every team they play, coaches are hoping Tebow can be the face of change.

It is no secret that Florida loves Tebow. His college career in Gainesville was storied and showed that he had a lot to offer the NFL. His dedication to the game and his team was without question. Once called out for being more worried about his image than his team, he wore jorts and Jerusalem Cruisers with socks to a photo shoot proving the only thing he cares about is football, and Jesus.

The Jaguars coaching staff hopes to bring some of that blessing on their team now.

"Everyone knows he has the inside knowledge of not only how the Broncos work, but how God and Jesus work, and we are hoping to bring that to our team," Jaguars general manager David Caldwell said.

Stay tuned for updates as they come.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Clemson clashes with Georgia, gains superpower

Greenville SC – Clemson has surged to its highest ranking in The Associated Press poll in 25 years after the Tigers won the biggest game of the opening weekend of the college football season.

Clemson is No. 4 in the first regular season Top 25, following its 38-35 victory against Georgia. The reason for their success is simple. They are doing it for Howard’s Rock.

The traditional rubbing of the rock before every Clemson home game is traced back to 1966 when Coach Frank Howard took the rock to a voodoo priestess in the foothills of Greenville to fill it with potential. The only catch, the players had to give an impossible 110% in order for this potential to be released to them.

That was until June when Howard’s Rock was vandalized by a Clemson fan. Since that day numerous sources have mentioned some weird occurrences to anyone that has prolonged exposure to the rock.

“I was standing watch over the rock waiting on repairs to be completed to the protective case, and I felt almost superhuman,” field security guard Ronnie Barnhardt said. “I suddenly felt like I was Bruce Lee. As a matter of fact three ball boys had to be sent to the hospital from my attack when they came up behind me un-announced.”

After Clemson’s surprise win over Georgia this weekend, Georgia Coach Mark Richt asked for the NCAA to investigate the rock.  The findings are staggering.

“Our tests showed an unexplainable power emanating from Howard’s Rock. We have taken a small chunk of the rock to our labs for further testing,” said NCAA spokesperson Ken Brown.

Our news team traveled to the foothills of Greenville to track down the voodoo priestess to see if she could explain what is happening. The 90 year old woman asked to remain anonymous but offered this information: “When I first put the spell on the rock I did it so that each rub would transfer some power to the player. With the chunk being taken out the voodoo deep inside the rock is now flowing as if it is constantly being rubbed. I expect Clemson to win the NCAA Championship this year if the rock is still around them.”

Upon finding out this news, Clemson Coach Dabo Swinney set up a tent over the rock where he is camping out. Coach Swinney said, “I will show that one coach from Columbia what a real coach I can be this year!”

No news on what the NCAA plans to do with Howard’s Rock at this point.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Downtown restaurant creates controversy over crazy cuisine

Charleston, SC- On an average drive through Downtown Charleston you are sure to find an array of restaurants that are sure to cater to any palette. For one local entrepreneur that is exactly what he is counting on.

"There is nothing like it here or anywhere," Sha'ron Mazel said. "To be the first to try this in such an awesome market for foodies is a risk but one that I will gladly take.'

With the health kick underway Mazel plans to bring in healthy dining with a twist. He touts his restaurant as one that will revolutionize the industry and bring all walks of like in to his business. "Everyone wants to be healthy. From the president of the Charleston Cab Company, to the homeless man on the corner," Mazel said. "What better way be healthy than with the prime organ, the master of nutrients, the amalgam of life."

That is right Charleston, Mazel is speaking of a restaurant that serves finely prepared placenta. 

The placenta is thought by many health experts to be the "fountain of youth" and a source of cure for any ailment or disease that a person can get. Local experts say that the cure for cancer could very well lie in the placenta.

"To open a restaurant that serves placenta to the masses means increased health for everyone," Dr. Nathan Franks explains. "I am just glad that not only can my office supply him with the discarded placentas, but I can also be one of the first to try it.'

The aptly named, "Plac-In-Time" will be opening its doors to adventurous Charleston residents by November.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Fight breaks out after local man called "Homo" during home closing

Winford Babbage after being released.
Mt. Pleasant SC- Police were called to the offices of Attorney Chuck Keystone this afternoon after a physical altercation broke out during the exchange of the keys.

Winford Babbage was buying his first house when he became aggravated at Mr. Keystone for hurling insults at him during the signing process. "I felt as if he was jealous of me for being able to buy a house during these rough economic times but that does not mean he can call me names the whole time." the 53 year old Babbage said. "I do not support the gay lifestyle and for him to call me that is totally wrong."

Multiple people at the closing informed Mr. Babbage that there is no wrong in the name but he was still very offended by it. "I have no clue what a 'Ner' is but I know I am definitely not a homo one of those, so that kind of language upset me," Mr. Babbage said.

Attorney Keystone insisted that being called a "new homeowner" is a compliment not everyone can afford and that it is a badge of honor. Keystone said that every time he would say "new homeowner" Mr Babbage would become upset which eventually led to the fight.

After being released from custody Mr. Babbage refused his keys and said, "I will just keep living with mama, Lord knows I don't want a house that make me go to hell."

Investigations revealed that the office for the attorney did no wrong in this case and that the pronunciation of the word "homeowner" is to blame.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Google outage causes headaches for people everywhere.

US- According to the Google the description of what will happen to signal the apocalypse is; Wait GOOGLE IS DOWN, I repeat GOOGLE IS DOWN!

Millions of internet users were surprised and startled to learn that the popular search engine Google was not working Wednesday morning. Along with the search engine not being operational some Google services were also affected by the outage.

Users quickly turned to social media site to ensure they were not the only ones affected and to express their opinions of what it all means.

Twitter user @brandtprince said: "I was using google maps when it suddenly turned in to apple maps! ." Many other users questioned what that meant for the future such as Twitter user @predsgal who stated, "So glad I survived the great outage 2013...I might have had to talk to a person or open a book if it had lasted any longer!."

During this disaster the company behind the search engine "Bing" geared up for more business and even called in their two on-call employees. "We are prepared to handle as many as 300 searches per hour as of now," Bing search director Toby Arnotobee said, "and when our on-call employees get in we should be able to handle up to 450."

As of the time of writing Google is now back up and operational, and you should be able to use maps and services as normal. Bing has since told their two on-call workers they can take the rest of the day off.